Ah, February, the month of L'amour. St Valentine, Cupid, the whole cast of crazy loverboys are out there pressuring us guys to be romantic. That's all well and good, if you're already married, but what if you're single--looking for that special someone? Who can forget the painful silence, the sweaty palms, the awkward first line that leads to the mating dance of the seersucker single? Well, just so no one feels alone in this situation, let me remind you that from the time of Adam onward, man has had to deal with the panic-induced pickup line. Therefore, the February 2000 Loverboy Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten is:
“Top Ten Pickup Lines
Used By Adam”
- "You know you're the only one for me!"
- "Do you come here often?"
- "Trust me, this was meant to be!"
- "Look around, baby. All the other guys around here are animals!"
- "I already feel like you're a part of me!"
- "Honey, you were made for me!"
- "Why don't you come over to my place and we can name some animals?"
- "You're the girl of my dreams!"
- "I like a girl who doesn't mind being ribbed!"
- And the number one pick up line from Adam is:
- "You're the apple of my eye!"
*I realize that the Bible says that Adam and Eve ate of the "fruit", not "apple", but gee guys, apple is funnier!
The Heavenly Top Ten is intended to be a fun look at
issues of faith and fellowship. It should not be considered a serious treatment
any of the topics presented.