Hey guys! Mother's Day is coming, Mother's Day is coming! Consider this announcement as a public service to my fellow men! After all, what would happen if you somehow forgot...?
Just in case you forgot last year and never clued in, the May 2005 Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten, is:
“Top Ten Indicators That You
May Have Forgotten Mother's Day”
- The eggshell to egg ratio in your egg salad sandwiches has dramatically increased!
- Your hypoallergenic pillow was replaced with the cat cushion!
- You just found out that your mother and wife went on a spontaneous Caribbean cruise with your credit card!
- You came home to find that your valuable stamp collection was sold on ebay with the proceeds going to the local women's shelter!
- You found your golf bag at the bottom of the pool — you have no idea where the clubs went!
- All your children have applied to have their last names changed to their mother's maiden name!
- When you started to shave this morning, you noticed the word, "*redrum" etched all over your side of the mirror by what appears to be the diamond of a wedding ring!
- You couldn't understand why your car smelled so bad until you found your prized topical fish collection duct taped to the bottom of the driver seat!
- You got "thank you" letter from all the men on your street. Apparently, you have somehow made them look good!
- And the number one indicator
you may have missed Mother's Day is: - You've just discovered that your BLT was actually a BPT (Bacon, Poison Ivy and Tomato) sandwich!
*'redrum' is a reference from "The Shining" it is "murder" backwards.
The Heavenly Top Ten is intended to be a fun look at
issues of faith and fellowship. It should not be considered a serious treatment
of
any of the topics presented.