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Spring has finally arrived. For us men this means one thing: get the bikes out and tune them up! Actually, it's time we showed our spouses, and/or the world, (if we aren't married) just how domestically responsible men can be these days! Yes, believe it or not men can help with the household spring cleaning!
Just in case some of your guys are a bit "challenged" in this area, I have provided some practical advice on how to make your spring cleaning go smoothly. With that thought in mind, the Mid April, Early May 2001 Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten is:
Top Ten Spring Cleaning
Tips For Men
- Just because something is fuzzy and the kids don't pet it, doesn't mean you should throw it out!--Wait for it to start moving, then kill it, and throw it out!
- Remove all your old, ratty, FAVORITE shirts from the closet and hide them until your wife has done her spring cleaning, then put them back!
- Washing and waxing your car IN THE GARAGE isn't technically considered house cleaning!
- Buying your wife a self-cleaning oven for Mother's Day is a nice gesture, but it shouldn't be considered your share of house cleaning for the next year!
- Just because the dog doesn't die when drinking from the toilet isn't an indication that the bathroom is clean enough!
- Contrary to popular male opinion, using car parts as accent pieces in the living room is ALWAYS a fashion faux pas!
- Posting a "Do Not Touch, Experiment In Progress" sign on the refrigerator door isn't an acceptable compromise to cleaning the fridge.
- Naming and issuing birth certificates for each dust bunny, in hopes of cashing in on some future novelty item business windfall, isn't being particularly realistic!
- Most people overlook the sanitizing benefits of flame throwers. Using flame retardant paint on your walls and furniture makes using one of these "crispy cleaners" both fun, and effective!
- And the number one
spring cleaning tip for men is: - Start with the most important place first--your heart! (Psalm 51:10)
The Heavenly Top Ten is intended to be a fun look at
issues of faith and fellowship. It should not be considered a serious treatment
of
any of the topics presented.